Snow in the garden

Nica looked up at the dark wash of sky and sighed. She’d known she was feeling moody when she’d gone to bed, but she’d hoped it wouldn’t follow her into her dreams. She should have known better.

The normally lively wash of color was gone from her aunt’s garden, replaced by the tired greys and browns of plants hunkered down for the winter. Nica moved through them in a sluggish echo of her usual lyrical steps, just trying to push through. If she could reach their tree, maybe Seth would be there.

But the tree stood solitary and naked, empty branches raking across the cloud covered sky. Another heavy sigh, and Nica plopped herself down to wait.

Everything stood still. No bird song filled the air, no whisper of rustling leaves. No echo of laughter from family long, long gone. Nica’s throat tightened, and she took several long, deep breaths to chase the threatening tears away. What good was lucid dreaming when it only meant another chance to grieve?

A single drop of wet appeared on the back of her hand. Another. Another. They were cold, empty things, just like the garden around them. Cold enough, Nica suddenly realized, to be snow.

Snow.

Delicate, lacy flakes fluttered down from the goose down sky. Big, fluffy flakes, as full and as puffy as the clouds that birthed them. Fine lines of white began to appear all around the garden, filigree trimmings along the decorative stonework and skeleton plants. The world turned ice, and in its own quiet way, it was lovely.

Nica stood up, unwilling to become another snow covered statue. There was still life in this garden, and she was it. With her breath coming out in cold, icy puffs, she began to hum to herself, and slowly, as her pacing picked up speed and life, she began to sing.

Snow always did strange things to the acoustics of the garden. Muffled echoes bounced back at her from every direction. The garden was filled with song and ice, crystalline structures and delicate harmonies, all elegant phenomena of nature.

Except, that last echo was too deep.

Nica didn’t pause, in motion or song, reluctant to break whatever spell had turned this gloomy dream into a tolerable one. She did quiet, though, trying to listen for the uncanny echo under the melody of her own breath.

It sounded again, this time to her right.

She paced a small circle around the central courtyard of the garden. Each time, the other voice seemed to come from a different direction. Her notes became sharper and clipped, taking on the heated edge of frustration, her motions growing harsher and swift. Soon, she was leaping around the garden, darting and running, rushing to catch that hidden voice, to glimpse that secret face–

A snowball hit her, square between the shoulder blades.

She whirled, spinning to see a completely unrepentant Seth leaning against their tree. He whistled a little chirp of hello, fresh snowball bouncing carelessly from hand to hand. She was surprised he could manage a whistle around that canary-eating grin spread across his face.

He whistled again, a hint of query in his note. Do we still play the game, my love? In answer, she darted forward, rushing into a diving tackle, carrying them both down into the now mounded snow. Laughing madly, they tussled and tumbled among the drifts, snow filling their noses and ears and eyes, and their laughing, open mouths. Finally she pinned him, legs twining about his and hands pinning his at the wrists. He hissed in pleasure, as she’d known he would. It wasn’t cheating if both parties enjoyed it, right?

He crunched up his stomach up as much as he could to raise himself up to kiss her. As cold as the snow on her cheeks was the heat of his lips on her mouth. She returned that fire many fold, hungry for warmth and for love and for life, all the things a wild heart held dear. As they kissed in the snow, the sleeping garden suddenly didn’t seem so empty. It was simply waiting.

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OC Interview

Been doing a lot of fun stuff over on ye olde tumblr and I thought I’d share this little tidbit with you all here on the blog. I think it turned out surprisingly well. It’s always nice to be reminded that the main three seem to carry on when I’m not looking. They came into this interview feeling one way (impacted by events that I’m currently unaware of), and worked some stuff out and went on to have a perfectly lovely time (I assume). Either way, I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Chapter 14, part 3

Kain watched the serpent fall as still as only a serpent could. But this stillness… It held notes of the dark ice of night, an element no serpent of spark and fire should be able to touch.

His lips twisted in a grimace. It was perverse what the Dai twisted their people into. Taking what the Gods had formed and blaspheming it to their own purpose, or worse, simply playing to see what they could get away with before Nature called their broken forms home. A cobra of fire with a heart of ice – even if Dev hadn’t said a word, he would have known the Dai’s influence.

—

Naj let himself fall automatically into the motions of his memories. He would not let himself rise from this place, lest the terror and passion of the now taint his thoughts. Li’Daea’s light had no place here, and the hawk burned with it. She had rekindled fire long forgotten in himself, but he did trust their use now. Later, he would walk in the light. Later, he would dance and laugh and sing with this hawk who swayed like a serpent. It was not lost on him that he, a serpent twice marked by Li’Daea’s fire, was asking the cold god of the griffics to help him free a raptor, so that she might dance again with Li’Daea’s light. Naj had no power here, no right to ask this, but it seemed the Dark God was willing to hear his plea in exchange for the many years this fire-blessed cobra had served in the name of night.

Naj opened his eyes and turned a gaze unseeing on the outside world. His vision swam with silver, lines of power tracing this way and that. He could see the echo of Nica’s performance earlier, the storm and the vines still hanging like ghosts in the air. Fainter lines traced other powers that had been used on this stage again and again.

They were almost invisible in the glare of the active spell that enveloped Nica.

Spidery threads crisscrossed her here and there, tainted with shadows of smoke. He let his eyes slide over them, not focusing on any one thing in particular, just letting the sight of it wash over him to see if any patterns presented themselves. One thread shone in particular, weaving itself in and out of the cocoon, only to exit it and shoot off into the ether. Farther from the cocoon, it dimmed and faded, lost in the darkness outside the glare of the body of the spell. Naj stepped toward it, letting it run just above his hands, examining it, but not touching it himself.

Echoes of the reality within Nica’s mind pushed at him, danced at the edges of his vision, called to him with screams and sobs and pleading, but he paid it no mind. If he’d focused on it, he could have shifted his vision to see into the prison her mind had become, possibly directly from her point of view, though most likely as a spectator, but it would have done no good. There was no precious clue to be learned from witnessing that, only distraction. Nica was fire to his soul, he needed ice. He needed cold, calculated distance, and he needed to hurry. The power the dark god had lent him would only last so long without a power source, and even as bountiful as his overfilled energy was, he was running out of time.

He turned his attention more directly on the single thread that disappeared into the nothingness. He could trace it back, but he had the feeling of enormous distance as he stared in the direction it had left, and he knew he had not the strength of soul to make that journey. Nor the time. Clearly, he was become more the child of Li’Daea if his thoughts kept returning to the passage of time in the outside world. The il’m was quiet, nothingness, eternity. Il’Dao was ageless and a thousand years was but a moment to the Dark God. But Naj didn’t have the strength of a thousand years to draw on. He was fading fast, whispers of his true serpent self showing through. In emotionless determination, Naj did what he knew needed to be done without giving his more passionate self a chance to object.

Naj reached outside him, seizing whatever power he found there. Most of the souls he touched were too young to be of any consequence, some almost weak enough to not even been felt. He reached out and brushed a mind cool and distant, and left a hook there to draw on if needed. It was not exactly what he was seeking, but if he needed still more power, he would need it with a quickness, so he made his plans now and laid them to wait.

–

Nat had barely closed the door to the downstairs when a mind brushed hers. She fell back against the door, eyes closing at the intrusion. Before she could protest, there was a small tug and it was gone again.

Her breath came quick and shallow, her amber eyes opening to stare at the stage curtains. Marie had said Naj and Kain had been fighting – was that what she was feeling? Surely not, she couldn’t fathom anyone being able to stand up to Kain. He might downplay himself, but she knew he was a force to be reckoned with.

And whatever she’d just felt had not been the big cat.

Which meant it must be Naj, but that… That alien brush had hardly felt like the serpent.

She pushed off the door, determined to find out what was happening. When she pushed aside the curtain though, she stopped cold, a gasp on her lips.

–

Naj brushed another power that wavered and flux, strong, but too inconstant to be of any use to him. This soul did not sit still, it would take more energy than it was worth to try and pin them down. He passed it by.

Most of his awareness, however, was drawn in by one shining soul.

There was heat, there was passion there, but it lay like a shimmering heatwave over layer upon layer of unyielding stone. The core of this power was immense, unmoving, and dark. Most importantly there was weight. This was a soul that understood the press of ages, and a soul whose song sang of power and untold strength. This was the power he needed, and he claimed it without a thought.

Diving back beneath the surface into the depths of his mind, he drug the powers he’d claimed with him. Later, his serpent’s soul would mourn for what he’d done to his friends. Later, he would apologize and face the shame of it, accepting if they chose to exile him from their nest. Even in raptor society, where much was excused in the name of power, what he was doing was done only in the most dire of circumstances, but the quiet part of him agreed that these were indeed those circumstances. But the serpent in him was too passionate to ever excuse the crimes he was committing against his fellow dancers. To invade another’s soul, to violate them in a way that mere physical rape never could – well, he’d deal with that after they’d saved Nica.

He returned to the place where he could see the demon’s magic, and reached out again until he found the singular thread. Armed with real power backing him up, he examined the thread to see what it would tell him. He reached out with a tendril of power, taking special care not to actually touch it himself, and sent a probing thought into it.

It dissolved like a wisp of smoke.

He stood, confused for a moment that such a thing would occur. He had felt the immeasurable power as he’d examine the line before, this should not have been a thing so easily broken. The demon that spun this was far beyond Naj’s skill and power level, and yet this single thread had dissolved at the slightest touch.

As his thoughts moved from line to cocoon, the power chased the dissolving spell through the many layers of illusions heaped upon it. It would have taken lifetimes to unravel if he’d had to have started from the main weaving. They had all been unspeakably lucky that Naj, with his years of study in demon magic, had been the first to make the attempt. Like spider silk, the web would have simply ensnared any attempts to probe it directly. Those desperate to assist Nica would have strengthened the demon’s hold, adding mortal power to the demonic aura that held her. Each hand would have made the spell more solid, more real, until an actual web of lies had bound her so thoroughly it would never be broken.

But to a demon, or those versed in them, the signature had been clear. The thread to unwind the spell had shone bright and clear against the chaos, but Naj had expected it to take much more effort to untwist. This…

This almost called to mind the practice of his earliest days, when demons who worked willingly along side the Dai had made weavings so simple that even the children they taught could unwind them. It was… well, almost insulting to be offered such a spell now. It was negligible, like an after thought. What had the demon meant by it?

But there was no time to consider it. Like the thread that had tied it to its master, the strings of the cocoon were unraveling and dissolving. Satisfied that the work he had been called to do was complete, the borrowed power of Il’Dao abandoned him, and Naj found himself sucked back to the here and now with frightening speed.

He gasped as his soul slammed back into his body, physically reeling at the force with which he hit. Instantly, his mind processed that he had been sitting still and cross legged at Nica’s side, breathless and unmoving. The power of the dark god had sustained him, as it did any raptor drawing on magics for extended periods of time. But as soon as that power had abandoned him, his soul rushed back to his body to nourish it. Naj felt gray at the edges of his vision, and more drained than he had the first time he’d been with Nica this morning, but as long as he held perfectly still he would not crumble. His heart beat frantically to pump oxygen back into his starved chest and limbs, the beginnings of dizziness and nausea curling around his brain. Before slipping into unconsciousness a thousand thoughts reeled through his mind as his soul caught up with him. What have I done. How long was I gone. I’m sorry, I’m sorry oh Nine Gods forgive me my friends forgive me but most importantly Is Nica ok?

---

As you may have noticed, today is not Asylum’s normal update day. That’s because, as of today, Asylum is on hiatus.

I’ve spent the past month trying to figure out how I want to do this, and I feel this is the best way. I’m about 10 chapters in to a revision of a Asylum that’s more streamlined, better paced, more in character, and much more coherent. Publishing Asylum to in an online format was always meant to be something that kept me interested in the project, and it has done just that. So much so, that my interest in continuing Asylum as moved beyond the scope of a web novel.

I want to get Asylum properly polished, trimmed, and in its best format. After working with this blog, I really believe this (new, streamlined version) is something I can query with, and I’m going to do just that.

I’ll keep this blog updated with progress reports, one liners, further tidbits of interests, and calls for beta readers. If you love Asylum and want to see where it’s going, hit me up. I am always looking for a fresh pair of eyes to go over my work.

It’s been fun. I can’t believe it’s been a whole year. Asylum has come so far, and has farther still to go. Thank you all for your support. I can’t wait to meet you all at future book signings!

Happy Reading!

-R

Chapter 14, part 2

Once past the ward, Kain’s thoughts flared wide, seeking Naj out. He followed the serpent onto the stage, slowing as he moved the curtain aside. There had been a tickle, something other than Naj for just a moment…

His eyes widened, taking in the sight of Nica motionless on the floor. Her eyes were open and unseeing. Her fingers were curled on themselves, limbs askew as if she’d simply fallen where she’d stood.

Over her stood Naj, a small smile flickering on his face as he knelt to touch the blood seeping from her mouth.

–

He’d need a tie back to this world, something to help him break back through the illusion. There wasn’t much strong enough here to help Naj keep his sense of self, but he’d rather take that risk than a misaligned spell with no name.

A familiar aura had appeared at his back as he’d been lost in studying the illusion. He’d ignored it until now, but as he pulled himself back into the space beyond the empty, he spoke to Kain without looking up.

“I’m going to need a tether.”

–

Kain closed his eyes against the sight, willing his heart to slow. Something wasn’t right here. Other than the obvious, what he was seeing wasn’t right. This was too obvious, too…

Too unbelievable.

The moment he thought it, he felt the shift. He heard Naj’s voice and opened his eyes to find the serpent standing at the edge of an empty stage. His expression was hard and he was staring at the stage as if there were something there that he would see if he only stared hard enough.

Kain could feel it too, something was pushing an illusion at them.

“A tether – where’s Nica?”

He had a feeling he already knew the answer, but he didn’t understand how or what was happening within the empty stage.

–

Naj snapped in frustration. “Questions later. Just hold this.” He lashed a strand of power in Kain’s direction and dove beneath the icy waters of power swirling in his mind.

–

Azriel watched the pair of men talking at the edge of the stage, pulling his glove through his bare hand over and over as he thought.

He’d hoped that the larger of the two would have bought into that simple illusion, a fight between them would have given him a little more time with his lovely little hawk.

His green gaze fell to the woman at his feet and he smiled affectionately. Not that he wasn’t enjoying every moment they were currently getting to spend together. Something about the way his shadows crawled through her skin… Her eyes were wide, and his shadows gathered there to make them completely black. He liked that better than the golden hazel her eyes had held before. This made her look… Well, like something of his.

He knelt, running a bare hand over her heart, tracing a symbol there with the shadows that flowed freely between his skin and hers. Oh, but she was a fierce one. Even trapped in her own mind, playing with a mere shadow of himself… She was delicious. Her fear tremulous and hard won, trickling down the tether that currently bound them together.

Some people wept fear so freely it was almost cloying. This one… She didn’t fear for herself – or at least, she hadn’t at first. No, her fear was something unto a delicacy.

He hummed softly as his shadow found a particularly good sore spot to press. He could hear her mental shriek as she finally gave in… His eyes closed, savoring it.

A push against his barrier interrupted and he stood with a sigh. All good things must come to an end, but she’d served her purpose… And there was no telling how long it would take them to break his hold with how many layers of shadow he’d cocooned her mind in.

And Devin would know he’d been here, which had been his intent all along.

With a last smile at the hawk whose pale skin now writhed with his darkness, he vanished, leaving only his calling card behind.

—

Air! Need air! Can’t breathe! Can’t move! Fear! TerrorterrorterrrorpanicAIR!!!

Naj staggered until the assault when the barrier abruptly fell. He hadn’t broken it, it has simply vanished. The false emptiness of the stage was immediately surging with feeling, a suffocating wash of sensation.

But, even so, it was… muted. Naj could still think past it, which meant it was only an echo, the lingering ghost of a moment past. Not too long passed, but as Naj sucked in careful breaths of air to chase the panic away, he realized the feeling was already shifting.

The emotion felt oily, slick, and it left an ugly film across his aura. Mentally, he tried to slough it off, but it only coagulated into a thicker sludge. Naj pushed against it, and it thickened still, so he let it go, and went serpent still, listening.

Nica’s screams rang out, but with that same echoey quality as the panic from before. There were too many of them, layered back on themselves again and again, and laced with grim, stony silence, a determination not to scream, not to give in—it was maddening. Naj willed himself not to hear, closed his eyes even as spectral images began to form around him, and dove deeper.

–

A growl trickled from Kain as the power hit him, but he held it, rooting it to only a part of his aura. They were going to have a talk after this though.

Thin white bands appeared on his wrists and Kain took a deep breath, forming a fist with one hand.

There was a soft pop as the illusion broke, Nica and Naj coming visible. It mirrored what he’d seen before, but this Naj was more concerned, and Nica…

It caught his breath in his throat. Her tanned skin was pale and black lines flowed along it. Her eyes were wide and dark, for a moment he’d thought the sockets empty.

What bothered him most though, was the faint echo of her mind, buried somewhere within her. She was in pain and afraid.

—

Nica’s eyes blinked open slowly, wincing as she registered tight pain in her arms. When her vision came back into focus, she realized she was in the main room of the club. She stood on stage… Except stood wasn’t the right word. Her feet barely touched the floor enough for her toes to taker her weight. Her arms were bound above her head, the rope vanishing up to where the rafters should be. Here there was nothing but darkness and she suddenly remembered Az.

Her gaze flickered around the room, her body twisting on the rope where her feet barely met the ground. Her senses strained, trying to figure out what had happened after he touched her, all she remembered was the cool chill of his touch, an ice that burned, and a strange slithering sensation on her skin… Into her skin.

This wasn’t really the club, there were minor differences, like the lack of ceiling and walls. The bar was there, but there was only one table with a single chair before the stage.

The biggest difference was that here, the room was deafeningly silent. There was nothing to listen for, no matter how hard she strained – no thrum of electricity, no whisper of insect activity, even her own breathing, which should be fast and harsh from fighting back the panic, was lacking.

When Az suddenly stepped into her line of vision, she jerked back, crying out silently as the rope pulled her back into position before him.

He smiled. In other circumstances, he would be considered a beautiful man. Black, stylish cut hair and green eyes that glittered with mirth, full lips… He was still dressed to the nines as when she had last seen him. As she watched, he crossed the room to the table and chair, setting down a small briefcase she had somehow missed.

When he turned to regard her, she was glad for the silence, at least she would be spared something in all of this. Then he parted his lips and spoke. His voice drifted across the room and slid against her skin with its softness. “I trust you understand what’s happening.”

She shivered and pulled back involuntarily. The quiet nature of his voice gave it an intimacy that caused her more pain than a slap would have. It was melodic, pleasant… And so contrary to what she knew was going to happen.

As Az continued to speak in that haunting tone, he began to undress. First his gloves, then his coat and tie, before beginning to unbutton his shirt. “This isn’t personal, little bird. For what it’s worth, I actually do hope you survive this. It will make it… That much more satisfying to me if you do. I hate it when my pets give in too easily.” He gave her body a thorough glance over and she realized that she was completely bare to his view. “Of course, I recognize that you’re already weakened, which curbs what I can do… But I promise we’ll still have some fun.” As he reached the last of his buttons, he removed the shirt, but nothing else.

Any relief she might have felt at him not continuing to undress faded rapidly as he unclicked the latch on his briefcase and brought his first tool to the light.

–

Naj slammed back into his skull, panting from the memory. Illusion? It had to be. Nica hadn’t been separated from them for that long… But demonkin weren’t bound by the mundane laws of the mortal plane. Though he shuddered to think it, Nica could have lived a thousand lifetimes by now, locked in the prison of her mind.

He knew none of this was real, but it was a fine point to mince. Bodies healed much faster than the mind, and the mental damage being inflicted was very, very real. In his experience, it was actually harder to heal memories that your body told you never happened, to the point that the mind would inflict phantom pains to realign the boy with its perceptions. No, physically real or not, Nica was being tortured, and Naj had to break it. Without the protection of frail flesh, the mind could be tormented for far, far longer.

He closed his eyes and took a deep, centering breath, drawing in on himself, shutting out illusory distractions. Sharing Nica’s mental landscape wouldn’t help him free her of it. There would be no convenient clue, no shining weak point to attack—her prison would soundly secure, and any hope offered therein would be false, only meant to tease.

In the inky stillness of his soul, there was ice, and he would use it. He touched the pure power within him, and realized it was a dull echo of what had been with his master provided the true connection to Il’Dao. Naj was a serpent, a cobra even, and the heart of his soul was fire. But in this place that he went to for strength, there was still the channel that housed the power as it passed through him. Ghosts of it remained, like a song hangs in the air long after the dancers have fallen into repose.

It was enough. He could use it.

Chapter 14, part 1

In which a message is sent.

Kain’s eyes followed the serpent’s movements as he kept his low conversation going with Nica. It was nothing important, mostly her trying to fill the air between them with trivial things such as needing to call the tailor. He knew there was something she wanted to talk to him about, but didn’t want to speak of with an audience. Her slowing footsteps gave her away.

Kain, however, was more interested in the serpent in front of him. He wanted to do a little more poking around before his worry got the better of him. It wouldn’t be prudent to start a conversation and give away too much of his own hand.

A twinge against his aura made him frown slightly and he glanced back at the warded door to the upstairs. He turned his gaze back towards Naj, thoughts spinning on themselves.

Feeling Nica’s confusion begin at his side, he glanced at Nica’s bare arms, forcing a small frown. “Didn’t you have an over shirt on when you came upstairs?”

Nica paused, blinking a few times in rapid succession as her thoughts suddenly changed direction. “I did… Probably left it by the stage.”

“Ah, well, I can run back and get that for you if you like.” Kain kept his voice bland, but he watched her eyes narrow. She wasn’t buying it for a moment.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll grab it.” With a small, thoughtful frown, she turned and headed back up the stairs.

–

Naj stiffened at the snagging of the ward, hoping his overflowing aura wasn’t the cause. He’d honestly never thought anything wrong with the practice of carrying elemental power in his aura, but after today…

No, it wasn’t him. Something… bigger that he was was at work here. He glanced behind, eyes finding Kain’s in the dark. Only Kain’s. Nica was gone. Naj stretched out his awareness as much as he dared. Nica’s energy was muted again—or had it never actually recovered? He’d felt the ki’n of the nest swarm around her during the show, but had it been unable to stick to her for some reason?

Could that reason have anything to do with her eijye?

Her eijye, who was conveniently blocking the path back upstairs. Who was not so subtly herding them all downstairs. Who had given him and Nica who-knew-what concoctions not once but twice in the past few hours, and Naj was only now beginning to question that? Stupid stupid stupid.

Marie pulled at his arm, stopping when he had. Naj didn’t even spare her look, eye fixed on Kain.

—

Kain stopped in the middle of the stairwell, turning from Nica’s vanishing back to Marie and Naj. The pair were looking up at him with curiosity and he smiled warmly with a shrug. “She forgot her shirt, she’ll be down in just a moment.”

–

Nica was preoccupied with Kain’s abrupt dismissal. She couldn’t tell why he’d wanted to be rid of her, but on the heels of this morning… Her pride would hardly let her stay. He hadn’t been listening to her anyway. Which was probably just as well, it hadn’t been terribly important. She should have just mentally nudged him for a private conversation about Naj, she just hadn’t wanted to risk Naj overhearing her.

Her shirt lay on the far side of the stage where she’d tossed it and her stride carried her most of the way across it before she was suddenly aware she wasn’t alone.

For a split second, she thought that a customer had been lurking after close, or that perhaps the door hadn’t been locked and someone had mistaken the time. All of it impossible, but what she found waiting for her seemed so much more impossible.

Dev had never described Azriel. Not in looks anyway, but the fear that underscored her voice when she mentioned him… There was no one else this could be.

He was dressed in a well-tailored suit and tie, the cut of which framed his lean body perfectly. Darkness was the perfect description for him, from his hair to every aspect of his clothing, including the gloves he tugged on with a smile. Only his pale skin gave any relief to it, and his eyes glittered like ice beneath heavy lashes.

Her mouth ran dry as he took a step forward, smoothing one hand down the front of his jacket. His footsteps were silent as he approached the stage.

—

Even as Naj realized the danger, it was too late. Nica’s suddenly diminished aura just as suddenly vanished, and he reacted without a thought. With a blast of heavy darkness, Naj rushed the much larger man, shoving his way past to take the stairs back to the main floor.

–

Kain’s attention was on the ward behind him and he was unprepared for the wall of power that hit him. Stupid to be caught off guard, but for all the Dai were known for, obvious and blatant attacks weren’t among them. There was a gasp from Marie behind him and Kain took the stairs three at a time to catch up to the serpent.

–

Azriel glanced down at her shirt as he passed it, then carefully ascended each of the three steps. Her chin lifted as he made an obvious show of looking her up and down.

“You must be… Nica.” His voice was soft and sultry, but there was something within it that made her heartbeat quicken. Nothing so obvious she could put her finger on, but she suddenly understood Dev’s fear. This was a man that logic and reasoning could not sway. Dev had once said he was insane and with just that innocent sentence, Nica believed her.

He continued as if she’d answered him, tilting his head slightly as his eyes drifted down again. “A hawk… With feathers like blood and a heart that falls as quickly as your animal form does.” His lips quirked. “Oh, perhaps that’s a falcon. Forgive me, feathers are all the same to me sometimes.”

Swallowing back the knot of fear, she ignored him. Ignored the twisting of her stomach and urge to run. There would be no outrunning him. And screaming would only bring the other dancers. There was nothing she could do but hope to distract him enough to spare them. Dev had described him as easily distracted, flighty even.

“What do you want, Azriel?” Her voice was breathier than she liked, but her voice carried across the stage.

The demon’s eyes were suddenly on hers and Nica found herself wishing he’d go back to studying her body. His smile changed, the wicked edge to it turning her stomach.

“I suppose it’s only fair that you know my name if I know yours.” Her eyes widened when he vanished. “I’ve always found names fascinating,” His voice purred into her ear and she fought not to move, “such intimate things when you think about it. A string of letters, syllables, to define and shape a person, so that I can hold all you are on just my tongue alone.”

The sound that followed forced her eyes closed. She would not run, she would not scream. It took all her willpower simply to stay still. She hoped she was strong enough to do the same if he actually touched her.

–

Empty.

The stage was empty.

It hadn’t been a moment ago. Naj knew he’d seen Nica standing and talking with… well, with something. His mind had slid around the shape, knowing something was there but unable to gather any details about it. It was almost as if the presence hadn’t made a decision one way or another about how present it actually wanted to be.

Then Nica had named it, and disappeared as well.

Azriel.

Naj knew the stage wasn’t empty. There was too much emptiness for it to be anything but an illusion. He’d felt the lingering ki’n that had seeped into the boards, smelled the combined perfume of so many different bodies, tasted the many hours of practice and performance that hung heavy in the space. All of that had vanished with Nica.

Which told Naj both she and the demon were still there.

What it didn’t tell him was if “Azriel” was a strong enough name to bind any spellwork to the creature. Naj had a lifetime of options at his fingertips, but nearly all of them were too strong to risk without knowing for a fact that they would effect his intended target and only his target. Likely as not, his familiarity with Nica would override the tenuous connection “Azriel” would make with the demon, and he’d blast his eija to oblivion—or worse. No, he couldn’t risk most of his options in this current situation.

But that didn’t mean he was helpless, either.

–

“I came to deliver a message to Devin.” Nica’s eyes opened a touch too wide to find Az standing across the stage again, amusement clear in his eyes.

“A message.” It wasn’t a question. She was going to be sick.

He twirled a gloved hand in the air, turning on a heel to gaze out at the rest of the club. Her heart was pounding hard enough that it skipped a beat and she watched his head twitch as if he’d heard it.

“I prefer hawks to parrots.” His hands slowly crossed behind his back, clasping to show pale skin between cuff and glove. A strange shadow drew her attention there, but it flickered away before she could make sense of it.

He was teasing her and her pride couldn’t even find the strength to be angry. Her thoughts kept turning back to the nest below her, where her dancers would be laughing and jostling to find places in the Great Room for movie time. She prayed that Fate would be kind and spare them, let her be the only sacrifice needed tonight.

A hand wrapped around her throat, stealing all her air between one breath and the next. The leather pinched her skin and her eyes widened…

To find Azriel standing several feet away, watching her with a frown. One hand was fisted at his side, but relaxed the moment she glanced at it. Her own hand twitched with the urge to touch her neck, sore from a coming bruise. There was a faint scent of dust and a strange musk on the air. If it weren’t for that, she’d wonder if she’d imagined it.

“I think you’ll be a suitable messenger, don’t you?” His tone was oddly somber, undertones she couldn’t begin to understand threading beneath it.

It took her two tries to say it, but she finally rasped, “Yes.”

His expression immediately brightened, then a nasty smile began to grow. “I was hoping you would say that.”

Her world went dark, his words fading into the background, but she thought she heard him add, “We’re going to have so much fun together.”

–

Chapter 13, part 3

In which things get a bit out of hand.

As the last act ended, they stayed where they were sitting, letting the crowd empty out. She’d always enjoyed watching the crowd as they began to come down off the high of the performances. Some of the staggering was from alcohol, but the excitement was always genuine.

Whispering behind her grabbed her attention and she turned in time to hear someone say her name. There was a pair of gentlemen standing a few feet back, staring,t hen grinning when they saw her face them.

“I told you it was her!” The taller man said, elbowing his companion in excitement.

A smile automatically fit her lips and she raised expectant eyebrows. She was actually surprised no one had said anything prior to this, but then, she had been gone quite a while.

“It is Nica, isn’t it?” He asked when she didn’t say anything.

She nodded and his grin grew. “Knew it! I might not have recognized you, but I knew anyone dressed like that,” He gestured towards Naj, “Probably worked here and the only girl I knew that worked here with hair like yours was you.”

His friend’s amusement at his babbling was fading as he glanced at his watch. It was late for most people, the show having run into the late evening/early morning hours.

He knew his time was running out and the speed of his talking quickened. “You’re going to be on stage for Blue Moon, right?”

Nica barely had a chance to nod before he continued. “Alright! I’ve got some friends who’re real fans of yours, I’ll be sure to let them know!”

His friend drew him away and she heard something low about wings and drums. She frowned only a bit after them, not recognizing the gentleman. It would be silly to expect to recognize every customer, but Blue Moon nights required a special pass to get into the club. She’d thought she’d known everyone with one. At least she should have been able to pin down what sort of supe he was.

She shook her head, disoriented by the encounter. When she caught Naj’s eye, she smiled. “It was bound to happen sometime tonight.”

Naj wondered if his face was that obviously lost, or it she was just being polite. The conversation had gone so quickly, with so many comments going over his head—what was wrong with Nica’s hair? The feathers were long gone… He knew his clothes were more of a costume in this day and age, but he’d been so comfortable he’d forgotten he’d stand out, until someone commented on it. And while he remembered Blue Moon being mentioned, he’d forgotten exactly what that meant.

He didn’t know what to make of the whole exchange, so he stuck to familiar ground.

“Are you feeling better?”

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes briefly as she felt the extent of her aura. Nica did feel better, fuller, warmer… She could lose the overshirt, but she’d wait until she was at least on the main floor.

“I am feeling better.” She smiled, pleased to realize it.

“Good!”

He’d stored up more than he himself needed, in case Nica hadn’t been able to draw enough on her own. He needn’t have worried. She was the heart of this nest, and it had gladly returned itself to her. He’d find a use for his back-up stores, or they’d dissipate naturally if no need presented itself. Part of it was surely powering his radiating joyful aura.

He sat in a happy bubble, watching the people around him, nearly drunk on the good feelings they exuded. There was a general flow towards the doors, and Naj found he couldn’t remember what came next. He looked to Nica, smile still spread over his face.

“Now what?” he asked cheerfully.

“Now we wait for the last few to trickle out so we can start shutting the club down.” She glanced towards the stairs, frowning slightly when she realized the third floor had been cordoned off. Were they that slow tonight?

Pulling her gaze away from the stairs, she looked around the now empty second floor. “We’ll head down and grab some rags, but the floor’s mostly clean up here – wipe tables and chairs, stack them, and a good sweep and mop should be all that’s needed.”

He settled back with a happy sigh, basking in the warmth that still radiated up from the ground floor. It was more intense this much closer than he was used to, but the familiarity helped soothe a knot between his shoulders he hadn’t noticed was there. He’d been on edge since they’d woken up, maybe even before then, but he was finally relaxing.

The time to answer Nica had passed. He’d forgotten that little social nuance, but she didn’t seem to mind. Nica seemed the sort of woman not to waste words, and if she had something to say, Naj was confident she would. So they watched the crowd dissipate in silence, Naj waiting for her cue that it was time to clean.

Nica watched Kain help a man who was especially unstable on his feet. She didn’t recognize him and the familiarity with which Kain treated him didn’t help. A regular? She barely remembered most of their regulars anymore. It was an unsettling feeling, but perhaps she just needed to get back into the swing of things for it all to come back.

The pair of them moved towards the door and she knew Kain would have a cab already waiting outside for him. They were down to the stragglers, the few who were settling up tabs and the friends who were so busy talking they didn’t realize they were last to go. She didn’t see anyone that was lingering unnecessarily though, and she was a little relieved to see that no one was skulking about in the hopes of seeing a dancer after the show. Those were typically the most unpleasant encounters.

She stood, stretching her back and letting her feathers mingle in her hair again. She glanced down to Naj. “Ready?”

Naj hopped up brightly with a nod, still buzzing with pent-up energy, though the high of audience had faded with their departure. He shivered when Nica pulled feathers, having spent enough time bathed in their mingling auras to feel the shift. It was prickly, but then soothing, like an itch finally scratched. It reminded Naj a bit of shedding, and his skin rippled in sympathetic goose flesh. He rubbed his arms to chase away the phantom chill then followed Nica down the stairs.

Dancers emerged from backstage as they came downstairs, most in casual clothes, some in various pieces of costume, all still bearing their smiles and bits of make-up.

Kain appeared at their side with some rags and spray bottles. Just as Nica was about to ask Naj if he wanted to work on the upstairs or downstairs, Ro jogged by calling out, “Got the stairs!”

She chuckled, glancing over at Naj. “You want to help up there or down here?”

“Does it matter?” he asked, bewildered. He didn’t do well with choices, and he felt the first stirrings of panicked indecision.

Before either she or Kain could answer, there was a high pitched keening that instinctively made Nica brace herself. As it came closer, the sound resolved into a drawn out syllable of her name. A small tanned bundle bowled into her and her arms automatically wrapped to catch it.

With a breathless laugh, she shook her head. “Hi, Chris.”

His face buried itself in her cleavage and she sighed, jostling his weight so he’d know she was about to drop him. Catching himself lightly on his feet, he grinned up at her, arms wrapping around her again to squeeze hard enough that she nearly lost her breath again.

“You can’t ever leave me again, Ni.” His voice was muffled against her skin and she ruffled his hair affectionately.

“I missed you to-” “Missed your breasts too much.” Their words collided and with a snort she pushed the smaller man back a step.

He grinned up at her, green eyes twinkling with mischief.

A rag caught Chris by the face and his impossibly wide grin grew as Kain pointed to the bar. “Go clean something, jackal.”

With a cackle that echoed to the rafters, the small man was off, darting rather than moving. Nica couldn’t help but laugh. She knew that Chris was more mirth than serious, always looking for an easy laugh to keep moods around him high. He could be alarmingly somber though, if he thought no one was looking. She was glad he’d made the joke and shaking her head, she glanced back to Naj.

“That was Chris, you’ll get used to him.”

He’d been half-frozen with panicky indecision. The shriek of a wail drove him completely into serpent stillness, he stood and watched the scene unfold from the shadows he’d drawn about himself. Nica’s comment brought him back to life, and he flushed guiltily at his flagrant show of power. How had he come so dependent on power? And how had he not noticed it? To draw the dark earthiness around him without a thought–

Earthiness? His brow furrowed, but it was true. He hadn’t drawn on the dark shadows of his usual habit—he’d hidden himself with the deep secretive powers of the earth. Which meant that somewhere, something had an abundance of it to spare. The gardens maybe? Nica had said the door was warded, but that didn’t mean it was completely cut off…

Naj visibly shook himself, bringing his attention back to Nica’s questioning look.

“I’m sorry?”

Kain was glad that Nica was so caught up in Chris and then Naj that he had time to school his features. He knew his expression had blanked when Naj had pulled against his aura. That was a new one.

He’d had nestmates that could feel his magic, but to have one usurp it without any warning… A little pocket of ice was forming in his chest. He was Dai. Tool or not, the training was obvious. And the disregard with which he’d used that training so far…

Nica was completely oblivious to it. Born a century after the Dai fell, there was no reason for her to recognize it. Perhaps he should have a word with Naj in private, before this became a resurgence of the Dai empire…

Surely he was simply being paranoid. The Dai had fallen, he’d watched them fall, had made sure they would not rise again to their previous heights.

Fate had a sense of humor to have brought a practicing Dai into his nest after all this time.

Kain smiled as Nica’s attention turned his way and he realized they’d been talking of cleaning chores. He handed off the rags and cleaner he was still holding and the pair of them began wiping down tables.

He watched them for a moment more, then turned away. Nat caught his eye, raising an elegant eyebrow. He shook his head. Her shrug was barely existent and Marie tugged at her arm, excitedly chattering about something.

Kain went to finish closing down the bar, keeping his thoughts to himself.

Naj threw himself into the business of cleaning, focusing on the circular motion of wiping. He scowled as he realized he’d been building a banishment with his pattern, and he wiped a harsh zig zag over the table’s surface. But even that was a traditional motion of negating, drawing on the character for zt, the sign for “no”. Working himself into a fine temper, he set to work on the next table, cleaning in it long, steady lines from top to bottom, focusing intently on not focusing at all.

Nica settled into a familiar rhythm. Two years hadn’t erased it and she fell into the task with a smile. It was meditative enough that she didn’t realize someone had started up some music. Nor did she realize she was singing along, voice rising and falling with her motion.

This was home. Life and warmth in the air around her, in her ears, heart, vibrating along her skin.

The song changed and she followed along, pleased when she realized she knew the songs. She grew more mindful of her voice, letting it fill her chest.

She moved from table to table, song to song, only looking up when she realized that several dancers were clustered near her, grinning like fools.

Nica raised an eyebrow, but couldn’t hide her own smile. As the music faded back down, she waved her rag at them. “Don’t you guys have work to do?”

It was Chris who laughed. Gesturing around, he drew her attention to all the clean tables and empty bar. “Done and done!”

She realized that the table she’d been working on was one of the last. With a shake of her head, she finished. “Alright, alright. Show’s over.”

There was a chorus of exaggerated groans and she rolled her eyes, catching Nat’s grin. Someone called out, “Jukebox time!”

Nat stepped in before Nica could protest. “Nica deserves more than one day to rest, come on guys, how about a movie instead?”

Chris jumped in, talking up some movie he’d picked up on the way home. The crowd dispersed with much laughter and debate. From what she understood, someone else had a different movie they wanted to watch.

She was glad for the distraction. While she enjoyed Jukebox time, a tradition of dancing and singing after a show to blow off some of the leftover energy… She didn’t quite feel up to it tonight.

Nica looked around at the thought, finding Naj to give him a smile. It widened when she saw Marie as well.

Naj gave Nica a little wave, with the arm Marie had left him. She was thoroughly wrapped around the other. She’d found him too far in thought, softly teasing him that he was taking the finish off the table he was working on. After Nica’s quiet intensity, Marie’s open simplicity was most welcome. She was surprisingly subdued from what he’d come to expect of her, but that was welcome too. Maybe, getting up early with him had taken its toll. He almost hoped so—he hated to have worn her out, but he would love to curl up with her and Nat again.

The dancers were moving with a purpose towards the downstairs, and Naj swept his free arm gracefully in their direction, turning to Marie with a smile. “Shall we?”

Marie snuggled against Naj’s arm, smiling when Nica looked their way. She looked relaxed, an easiness to it that reminded Marie everything was alright. It was that smile that had always told her as a child that everything would work out. No matter what happened, Nica would smile and everything would be alright, even if it took a little time.

Marie squeezed Naj’s arm, glad to feel him against her. The sensation combined with the safe feeling of having Nica back and she fought back a yawn. If she curled up with him for the movie, she was going to fall asleep.

Which sounded perfect right now.

She nodded at his invitation and they followed everyone else going downstairs. Nica and Kain trailed after them, talking softly among themselves.

Naj strained to hear the low voices behind him. But the pair was clearly used to having hushed conversations, because he couldn’t make out a thing. Not even a vague emotional impression.

He realized he’d been slowing when he felt Marie pulling away from him. She turned to him with the beginnings of a questioning look, which he dodged with a polite comment about enjoying her dance that evening. She beamed up at him, babbling happily about dancing with him again sometime, but Naj’s attention was as fixed on the pair behind him as he could manage without giving himself away.

Chapter 13 part 2

In which waters are tested.

Though the beats were foreign and the moves a little strange, having seen the show this afternoon gave them a sense of familiarity that settled him. And there was the comfortable feeling of “Nest”, and belonging, and it felt good. Naj could practically feel sustenance he was drawing in with every breath. He was still low, but his spirit was more intact, and the good feelings did much to shore up his weakened aura. He wasn’t sure of the connection between heart and aura, but one seemed to express itself in the other, and both were as much a serpent’s lifeblood as ki’n.

The truly wonderful thing about the Dai’s modified hand gestures was how discreet they could be.

During a lull between acts, he turned to Nica and showed her how to clasp her hands together in a more casual form, indicating that as long as the Li’nar finger and thumb were touching, it didn’t matter what the other fingers were doing. Yes, it was easier if the other power circuits weren’t touching anything, but since they weren’t doing any complicated weavings, it wouldn’t be a problem.

“Just–” He hesitated, knowing that sometimes, it was the effort to prevent disaster that caused it. But Nica had found enough trouble on her own this afternoon, so Naj forged ahead. “Don’t attempt to do anything else with your energy until it’s had time to heal a bit. I’ll teach you anything you care to know, so please come to me if you want to experiment?”

Nica stiffened slightly at his words. Despite numerous arguments with Kain, she didn’t seek out trouble. It just usually came calling her name.

“I doubt I’ll want to experiment. I was only trying to practice a dance I thought I already knew earlier.”

After a moment’s hesitation, she added, “But thank you.” She had to remind herself that Naj wasn’t trying to hold it against her, he was merely offering.

He nodded meekly and sunk back into his seat, thoroughly rebuffed. He knew better than to question his eija, he just… He couldn’t bear the thought of bringing her any trouble.

She sighed inwardly as his aura withdrew, his unhappiness clear. She wasn’t used to a serpent that shrank back from a sharp word. But that didn’t give her an excuse.

Nica reached for his arm, squeezing it. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t snap at you because of arguments between myself and Kain.”

“Is everything alright?”

He sat back up, leaning over the table to keep his head lower than hers. Would he ever lose the habit of making himself small? Did it matter, if it helped her feel comfortable? He knew first hand how hard it was for raptors to admit to any weakness. He didn’t know if her being raised serpent changed that.

But that did give him other tools to help soothe her. He reached up and patted her hand on his arm reassuringly, sending a wave of warmth with it. It was weaker than he’d have liked, since neither of them had been meditating for long, but it was enough to be noticed.

His question caught her off guard, though she should have expected it. A new dancer would want to know if there were instability in the nest. Hardly a day back in her nest and she was already failing. Ariella’s voice percolated at the back of her head and she batted the useless words away. She was a strong leader. There was nothing wrong with the way she ran her nest.

Everything just seemed to be going wrong lately.

A surge of warmth grabbed her attention, her eyes falling to his hand. At every turn, Naj surprised her. It just put into perspective how badly she and Kain needed to have a serious talk. There was something more going on here than she knew.

“It’s fine.” Her voice was quiet and she smiled in an attempt to reassure. But she couldn’t very well pretend she hadn’t said what she’d said. “This morning… Just gave an old argument the perfect excuse to surface, that’s all.”

“He doesn’t like that you travel for your studies, does he?”

Naj was finally piecing it all together. The power dynamic had been puzzling to him, but no one had tried to hide anything. Which was part of what had puzzled him. But the way Kain skirted his title without shirking its duties, the Nica stood apart but was clearly a part of this nest…. And listening to Marie, the things she said and the things she didn’t say—Kain was in charge here, whether he liked it or not. And he didn’t like it.

Maybe that was why Fate had brought him here. With Naj in the nest, there was a wealth of knowledge at Nica’s fingertips. She had said she wouldn’t want to experiment, but her actions so far said otherwise. Naj was pleased with himself, content in finally having found a sense of usefulness, even under the push of distress from Nica at his words. She’d work herself out, and he’d make himself useful. All would be well.

Her eyebrows shot up at Naj’s conclusion, but thinking about it… He was right, in his own way. Kain was still mad at her for leaving, no matter what the reason was.

“Something like that.” She sighed, leaning back in her chair as she watched the bustle of people going to the bar and returning with drinks. Her eyes were distant, not really seeing the people, but the flow itself. “And he is right, in his own obnoxious way. I should be with my nest.”

He nodded and continued his patting, content to let her tell herself what she needed to hear. “He knew what he was getting into, yes?”

Nica made a small sound that was just shy of a snort. “He was the one that talked me into it in the first place…”

Her thoughts drifted back and she hummed softly as she amended, “To be fair, he simply made it more official. I was already taking in a few of my fellow dancers when he came up with the idea.”

She shook herself lightly, off balance when there wasn’t the sensation of feathers rising in her hair to go with it. Had she hid them once while in Ariella’s nest the past two years?

“So it was his idea, and he pushed for a more formal arrangement?”

And yet he shuns the title eijye? Naj was beginning to wonder if he needed to have a similar sit down talk with Kain. It was amazing the way people could run from the realities of their own minds.

Nica frowned slightly at his choice of question. Put that way, it made it sound as if Kain had created the nest. Which he had, in a round about way, if she was honest, but all the work had been herself and Dev…

She shook her head. He had merely made a suggestion that had made sense. It had been practical and safer to open a real nest. Banding together as they had had saved a lot of people, given them a refuge, a home. It had given her a purpose, to keep them all safe. It was why she’d carved a small territory out from the surrounding area, why she’d stepped on so many toes to do so.

“Something like that.” She left her reply deliberately vague, unsure where this conversation was going.

“It sounds to me like he’s just throwing his weight around. I wouldn’t let him get to you.”

He subtly shifted beneath her touch to turn them both back to the stage. There was a note in her tone that told him she was still thinking, and needed time to simmer. But he’d established himself as someone she could talk to, and as far as he could tell, it was something she’d been missing.

He was wondering more and more about Kain, however. Had he deliberately isolated his eija to control her? Or was this merely an unfortunate side effect of their odd arrangement? This nest was clearly very young, for such unstable power structure to exist, but the best nests took generations to establish. He was happier than ever to be a part of it, to help relieve some of the strain. It would give him purpose that would help him escape his own troubles.

He snorted in spite of himself at the humor of that thought, and at Nica’s questioning look he knew he had to share or risk making more out of it than it was.

“Maybe he wants his own vacation.”

–

Naj continued to talk and she relaxed again, musing over his words. She did let Kain get to her, but he was the only one who ever gave her something new to think about. All of her ideas were bounced off Kain and he always let his opinion be known. Throwing his weight around…

Naj drew her attention again and smiling, he mentioned a vacation for Kain. Surprised, she glanced at the serpent at her side. “You think so?”

But then she remembered what Kain had been saying in the shower. He had hated having to be here without her. Perhaps he could use a chance to get away.

He shrugged slightly, trying not to dislodge her arm. He was beginning to feel like he was overstepping his bounds, but his already deep in it, and back peddling might only entrench him.

“It would either give him the rest he’s looking for, or make him long for home. Either way, I can’t see the harm in a small sojourn.”

Nica tried to imagine how that conversation would go. Get out… He rarely left the nest, she’d probably have to push him out the door. Maybe she could get Dev to open a portal and trip him out of it. The idea made her smile.

“True.”

Her attention turned back to the stage as the lights dimmed, the short break over and the show about to begin anew.

As the anticipatory hush fell over the crowd, Naj resettled his hands into the drawing posture. He set them on the table, a subtle reminder to Nica to do the same. He didn’t to push any more than he just had.

But whether or not Nica drew more power, Naj’s mind was made up. There was too much at work here that he didn’t know about, and so, he would arm himself in every way. He very carefully didn’t think about how aggressive that sounded, or about the possibilities he was preparing for. Power meant action, and action meant change. Who was he to enact a change here?

But action could always simple be a reaction, and Naj wanted to have options. Should the need arise.

The remaining acts were a mix of familiar pieces from this afternoon, and ones that seemed familiar to his serpent mind, clearly from nights previous, spent in the rafters. All created a swirl of vibrant energy that Naj’s aura pulled at greedily, gorging until it was more full than he could remember feeling in a long, long time. Was it because this nest was becoming his own? Or was it because he’d not seen Dev walking among the tables even once?

Chapter 13, part 1

In which someone is clearly feeling better.

As they moved through up the stairs, Nica smoothed her feathers out of her hair. She ran a free hand through it, disconcerted with the sensation as she always was. It was as if she’d suddenly donned a mask, an uncomfortable feeling as if she were hiding something.

Of course, she was, but she hated to be reminded of it. She spent so much of her time secluded among shifters that it felt wrong sometimes to have to remember that humans still didn’t know about the supernatural world.

The warmth of the backstage area distracted her thoughts. It wasn’t just the temperature, but the bustle and noise as well. A general feeling of excitement, chaotic and happy, slid over her skin and she smiled. Her hand squeezed Naj’s, glancing his way.

Just beyond him, Nat gave her a smile, nodding as she waited by the backstage curtains. She was dressed in a short skirted nurse’s uniform. Nica knew that somewhere around here would be Lena in a similar outfit if the skit hadn’t changed too much.

Naj stuck close to Nica, unsure of himself in the chaos and the noise. It pressed in around him, but the bubble of good feelings he and Nica still shared kept the worst of the buffeting at bay. At least, it helped to shield his raw aura. His other senses were on their own. The colors and cacophony, myriad of smells and the heat mixed overwhelmingly at first, but as his senses adjusted to the onslaught, he found the mad mix gelling much as their emotions had downstairs. This was a nest. This was Life. And this felt good.

Nica quickly led Naj out of the backstage, taking the hallway door to move from the back to the main floor. Here she paused, glancing around to gauge how quickly she’d be recognized – but to her relief, aside from a few glances, Matthew and Carrie held their attention to the stage.

A pang reminded her how long she’d been gone. Of course no one expected to see her on the floor. It was a strange sensation, to miss an old bother like not being able to walk onto the main floor without having to make small talk with the customers.

Kain’s raising a white rag behind the bar drew her attention and she moved in towards it. He and Dexter were both behind the bar, though she wondered at that. They hardly seemed busy enough to warrant two bartenders.

Nica found space on the short end of the bar for herself and Naj, tucking an arm around the cobra’s waist.

“I see you’re making Dexter’s job harder.” Her voice was mild and earned her a grin from the wolf at the far end of the bar. Dex touched the brim of his bowler with a free hand, nodding as he did so. That was about all the acknowledgment she was going to get while he was working.

Sure enough, he returned to the shaker in his hand, saying something to get the pair of girls before him giggling like mad.

Nica was shaking her head when Kain set two glasses of his herbal tincture in front of them. The warm smile fell right off her face. “Hell no.”

If it wouldn’t have garnered unnecessary attention, she would have thrown hers back in his face. He raised an eyebrow at her, probably knowing exactly what she was thinking. She leaned into Naj’s warmth and Kain’s eyes flicked to the black silk wrapping around her.

She knew it was a subtle reminder that she still wasn’t feeling up to her usual self. She sighed and reached for it, muttering something about the vile taste.

Kain gave her a look as he leaned close so his deep voice could be heard. “You know it’ll make you feel better.”

She gave him a dark look. “Swallow a live toad and nothing could be worse? You need a better endorsement if you actually want someone to drink these.”

Kain chuckled. “I like to think my drinks speak for themselves.” He glanced to Naj. “He doesn’t seem to have a problem with them.”

Naj dutifully drank his, wincing at the burn of the liquor. It sat better with the stew in his belly than their first dose had, but it was still less than pleasant. But it was better than the alternative.

“Thank you for all your efforts,” he said, carefully to keep the thickness from his voice. “Dirt” was about the kindest endorsement he could offer the flavor.

Nica snorted, lifting her drink to sniff it. “He’s just being polite.”

Giving Naj a cheeky smile, she added, “You don’t have to be, by the way. Kain has a thick skin.” Pulling the drink away again, she grimaced, “And a thicker skull and stomach.”

“Manners are just as important to have as to hear.”

It was out of his mouth without a thought, and he flung his hands to his mouth as if to stem the flood of any further rudeness.

Kain’s laughter erupted at Naj’s comment, tapping the bar as he did so. He grinned when he looked up again, dark eyes glittering in the low lighting. A few customers nearby turned to look, their own smiles in place.

He took Naj’s empty glass, still chuckling. He glanced at Nica, who couldn’t help her own smile. She rolled her eyes though when he added, “Perhaps Naj can teach you something after all.”

Naj curled in on himself under the attention. He gave a muttered thanks and dropped his head over the water glass Kain offered.

Nica gave a heavy sigh and picked up her drink, bringing it to her nose. It smelled horrible and she knew was going to regret this. Steeling herself, she downed the double-shot and immediately leaned over to lay her head on the bar. When she could finally raise her head, she took Kain’s offered shot of water and shuddered.

“I swear to the skies that you go out of your way to make that unpalatable. There’s no way anything on this earth meant to be consumed can taste that badly.” She leaned on the bar and glared at Kain, though there was mirth just under the surface. “I stand by the statement that you’re a sadist. It’s the only explanation for those things.”

Nica shook her head and shuddered again as she turned to Naj. “Come on, I’m sure there’s someplace to watch the show that doesn’t include torture or whatever madness Kain might have planned.”

Naj slipped off the stool, giving Kain a nod that he would have made a bow if he could have. He had to learn to relax, but something about the eijye simply disarmed him. Nica didn’t seem to have any such issues, however, giving the cat as good as she got. It was nearly as stunning a show at the one going on on stage.

Chapter 12, part 3

In which things are tried on for fit.

Naj watched her feathers flex, eyes going soft in wonder. Then he caught himself staring and ducked his head.

“They are magnificent,” he said, nodding his head to her wings. “Forgive me if I’m distracted from time to time. I’ve never seen coloring quite like yours.”

Nica paused in her movement, eyes going to her wing nearest him.

Serpents were often divided in their responses to her feathers. While she was raised as a serpent, and behaved like one, they were the one reminder that she wasn’t. Her family had never minded, and had treated her feathers as beautiful as scales, but not all serpents felt that way. Before Asylum, she’d been turned away from several nests just for bearing wings. The prejudice was common enough that few serpents ever sought out her nest, even now.

Centuries after the war between their people, and neither really trusted the either. It was petty and depressing, making her miss her family all the more.

She extended her wing towards him, low so that the joint was no higher than his shoulder, the long primaries spread back along the floor. There was a small twinge of shyness that accompanied the motion. While some serpents would overlook her wings, it was rare any praised them. “Thank you.” Her voice was quiet, but pleased.

He marveled at their dexterity, and the beautiful patterns revealed when she stretched them this way or that. “I’ve never known anyone with red in their wings,” he said softly, eyes drinking her in. Their posture seemed somehow demure, and he wondered at the softness in her aura until he recognized it as shyness.

“Oh! I’m sorry—this is awfully intimate of me, I shouldn’t have assumed–”

He pulled himself back, settling back over his own crossed legs and stretching his spine up straight. “Sh-shall we begin our meditation?”

It was silly and vain of her, but it was nice to have someone admire her wings and she was a little dismayed when he drew away again.

He was such an odd serpent, unlike anyone else she’d met. Not shy of her wings, but shy to be too intimate.

“I didn’t mind.” Nica smiled, but straightened her own posture, tucking her wings against her back. “I’m ready.”

He flushed slightly at her smile, and it carried with him into their next lesson.

“You recall our starting position?” he asked, hands folded neutrally in his lap.

“Mm…” She hummed, shifting position as she closed her eyes. At her back, her wings flexed as she thought, feathers ruffling and resettling with her movements.

Her hands formed cups, one palm up and the other palm down. “This one or…” She shifted, both cupping upward and crossing at the thumbs, “this one?”

Her eyes opened as she looked for his answer.

He mirrored her current position, eyes alight. “Either is correct, depending on your intention.” His smile quirked into a grin. “I can simply tell you, rather than play further guessing games. I just wanted to see what you remembered.”

Nica raised an eyebrow, her smile warming. “I don’t know that I’m very good at guessing games.”

“Well, you did remember the starting postures alright. The first, Are proper, is more an invocation, a pause to reflect and balance before beginning. This, while it does contain Are on a smaller scale, is more useful for manipulations.”

He twitched his cross thumbs at her in a reminder.

“We need to open our channels so that energy from without has easier access to our stores within.”

He closed the fingers on his left hand, shutting down the forces of slowing and stillness. Then he touched all of his right hand fingers to his right thumb.

“Unless you want to give the energy a specific element, any of your dominant hands will do for accessing Li. Feel anything?”

She eyed his fingers, noticing that he was using all rather than a specific one. Nica thought about it, then followed his motion. There was that odd pulling sensation again.

“Yes.” Her voice was soft, but not quite breathy.

Naj frowned. He felt nothing. Perhaps his power deficit was too great. However, if Nica could balance herself, he would be satisfied. He still wasn’t certain he even wanted to return to his own unnatural balance.

“Feel the power move through you, listen for places where it snags and eddies. Those are places where your aura stores energy, and they need to be refilled. Simply focus on them, for now. The attention should be enough to direction for your purposes.”

“Mm…” She frowned slightly at his words. She could feel movement, but it was so slight it was hard to read. Finally, she shook her head, saying so. “I can feel it, but barely.”

“Just focus,” he encouraged. “The more you focus on it, the stronger the feeling should become.”

He wished he could see auras like some, but that was not among his gifts. He couldn’t help her anyways, but it would be nice to know that his student was making progress.

She hummed and closed her eyes again. Focus on it. Ariella always said patience was her worst trait. Nica took a breath, then another, until each breath sank deeper into her core. She felt the edge of her aura, washing gently against Naj’s.

The movement traveled inward and she followed it, feeling where her aura swirled over and into her own skin. As she focused on it and nothing else, she could feel an emptiness inside, as if she were a quilt made of empty pockets. It was a disturbing feeling, but she tried not to shy away from it.

Instead, she carefully investigated each one, slowly realizing her energy was falling into them, but not necessarily leaving again. They seemed to be situated over each of her chakras and she hummed again curiously.

As she pulled her attention back out of them, she realized her aura was sliding back towards her, drawing inward though she hadn’t called it back.

Nica broke the connection as she opened her eyes, frowning slightly. “I can feel where it’s collecting, but it also feels like my aura is falling into it. Is that typical?”

He nodded, glad to know things were progressing as they should. “In avians, yes. You are undoubtedly serpent in heart, but as you said, your magic draws on a hawk.”

“It’s slightly disturbing to feel my aura recede unintentionally.” Nica shifted her wings behind her uncomfortably. At least she knew it was typical for an avian – though that made her wonder how he knew. She’d forgotten for a moment that a serpent might not know. He seemed rather familiar with avians though, and she pushed the through aside for another time.

“I don’t doubt it.”

He pushed his own aura towards her until they were brushing again, letting his sympathy and support shine through it.

“Embrace it—this is something your energy does naturally, just not quite to this extent or as quickly. But your body will know what to do. Trust it.”

Nica took another breath and nodded. She tried to focus on it without closing her eyes this time and found that now that she knew what she was looking for, it was easier to feel. Her aura was still sliding into her, but to a lesser extent.

“It seems to be slowing.”

“How are you feeling, then? Better?”

He was so lost. Naj had no business being a teacher, and he knew it. Without a dance or a deep meditative state, he couldn’t connect to her aura fully enough to see its state for himself. He could read the surface coloring, easily, but it’s deeper health still eluded him. And he doubted Nica’s knew what to look for, if such manipulations were as new to her as they seemed.

“A little?” She broke the connection to rub her hands over her arms. “I’m not quite as tired, but I’m actually a little chilled, which is odd, for me.”

“Hmm….”

Naj redoubled his efforts to pull energy into his own reserves, and found the room barren.

“Perhaps you’ve simply collected all this space has to offer….”

He shrugged, giving up on his own mediation posture. “At least you know the art of it now?”

“True…” Nica wrapped her wings around her shoulders, the cold making her aware of her lack of clothing. Many shifters cultures didn’t consider nudity to be taboo or something to be hidden. Serpents were one of those, often considered lascivious by other shifter races. Nica often found the rumors to be greatly exaggerated, but it was true that serpents considered clothing to be more decorative. Then again, they also were typically found in temperatures that facilitated that idea. The downstairs was kept in the low to mid eighties for that reason.

She didn’t mind being nude currently, but it was highly odd for her to have a chill at all. It seemed sharper for it somehow. Avians ran naturally hotter than any other shifter and she wondered how the shift in her aura had made a difference.

Her posture worried him. She looked so guarded with her wings wrapped tight—did she have some concern she wasn’t sharing? Was it embarrassment? With her aura pulling itself in so close, he couldn’t read it. He reached out a companionable hand to pat her thigh. She was cool to his touch.

His touch. The passionate hawk woman was cooler than a serpent running on empty. This was not good. What to do?

“You’re uh…” He rubbed her leg, flicking his gaze to it. “I think you’re more than a bit chilled.”

Nica shivered, feathers ruffling. Her hand covered his, squeezing it. She tried to smile in reassurance, but it ended in a grimace. “I’m not sure why, though.”

It had to be the energy empty room, he was sure of it. In times like this, he’d have called on his nestmates for help–

And why shouldn’t he? They were in a perfectly good nest—better, probably, than the fallen serpents he’d been thinking of. And they all belonged to Nica. If anyone could help her regain what was lost…

“I think it might be best if we go upstairs. There’s just not enough power lingering down here—for either of us.”

Her eyebrows rose as she met his gaze. Lingering power? She had assumed the meditation was meant to balance her own energies, but this was beginning to sound more like when Dev fed. It made sense, in its own way…

Nica’s eyes flicked to the ceiling, looking past the colored tapestries. “We’re probably halfway into the first show right now.”

He nodded, pushing to his feet. “Should be fairly leveled out by now then. It’ll be good intermediate practice.” He held a hand out to her, doing his best to smile despite his worry.

Nica took his hand, standing slowly. “Intermediate practice?”

She made it a question as she moved towards her closet. “I suppose we should get dressed then.”

“Well yes–wait what?” His mind couldn’t keep up with the abrupt shift. Once it did grind into gear, however, another thought was quick on its heels.

“I, uh, I’ll need some assistance with that. Kain is washing everything I own…”

The crimson button up and dark slacks were literally his only possessions. He’d lost his shoes at some prior point he couldn’t recall.

She smiled, hand on the doorway. “I’m sure we can find something that will fit you.”

Gesturing for him to follow her, she moved further into the closet. Her mind began to turn as she did so though. She had quite a variety of clothing, between dressing for various occasions as well as costuming. Nica wasn’t worried about finding something that Naj could wear, though the fitting might be a bit off.

She was, however, caught on his words about Kain washing everything he owned. She needed to schedule an appointment with Liza for him, so the tailor could get started on his own wardrobe. She handled the nest’s costumes, and quite a bit of their personal clothing as well.

Nica ran a hand over some shirts hanging, then opened a dresser that held pants. “Feel free to look around, see if anything sparks your interest.” She pulled out a pair of capris that fell open at the knee. “It might not all fit, but I’m sure we can find something.”

“I’ll contact Liza in the morning, she tailors most of the clothing for the nest – that way you can have something properly fitting in a style you like.”

He eyed the elastic fabric she pulled on, noting how it molded to her curves, but it didn’t seem stiff enough to offer any support. Pleasant on her, probably less attractive on his attributes. He’d have to steer away from anything that tailors, given their differences in build. He sorted through the drawer while she talked, pleased to hear that tailoring at least was still in style. He might have lost most of her serpent temperament, but he was still classically “snake-hipped”, and so required a slimmer fit than most.

“Thank you. I quite appreciate that.”

He pulled out a bundle of rust-red fabric and suede laces. If these were what he thought they were…

A soft smile filled his face as he shook them out. The fabric billowed out from the waist band, brought together at the hips and ankles by laces. They were a traditional serpent cut, easily transitioned from full pants to a shorter fit more suited to flame and sword dances. He imagined the rich red color, which faded to a more orangey clay at the hems, would look stunning against Nica’s plumage. The red was wrong for his own scales, but he wouldn’t be shifted upstairs anyways. Naj held them out for Nica’s approval, hoping she wouldn’t mind his selection.

“May I?”

Nica smiled as she took in the pants he was holding up. “Please do, I was hoping I’d have something that caught your eye.”

She debated wearing something a little more decorative, but with her chill and the tinge of weariness… Comfort was her preference tonight. She picked up a rich green halter, slipping her wings away before putting it on. A black silk overshirt followed, draping over her to tie loosely in the front. It accented her curves with the way it fell, even as it covered her, leaving only a few glimpses of the emerald underneath. The cloth didn’t chase away the chill entirely, but it did help.

“Indeed.”

His smile was quiet, but pure. As he slid the breathy cotton fabric up over his hips, a content sigh eased from him. They felt like home. The simple act of lacing first one side then the next made his very skin fit more snuggly around him. The slit legs flapped open around his calves, waiting to be laced similarly.

“Up or down?” He asked, eyes twinkling.

“Mm…” She wrapped her arms around herself with a smile. The pleasure in his aura was nice, easing some of the tension out of her shoulders. “I think either would look good on you. I typically prefer them down.”

“As did I.”

Naj went down on one knee, pulling gently at either end of the lacing to make sure they were even. Then he gave a little half-tug more on the right, to account for the length that would be eaten up by the knot. He hadn’t taken such care with the top laces—had he ever laced them up for himself? This action felt habitual, ingrained by centuries of practice. But he hadn’t given his other laces a second thought.

His brow furrowed as he worked at the laces, surprised when no memory came with the action. It felt like there should have been one.

“…I think.”

Nica frowned when he did, his previous happiness fading. She moved towards him, one hand brushing his shoulder in an offer of comfort that didn’t interfere with his lacing. She didn’t question his doubt, simply replying, “It is a popular way to wear them.

He nodded, twisting the expert knot without hesitation. He remembered it, even if he didn’t remember remembering it. He moved to the other ankle, playing and adjusting again, but lengthening the left cord this time.

“How are my hips?” he asked absently. “Even?”

“They look even from here.” She rubbed at one arm as she studied his thin frame. “Though it’s hard to know for sure until you stand.”

Another twist and he stood with a snap, spreading his arms and giving a little turn. His grin was back when his gaze returned to his face—the small breeze behind his knees even that gentle motion had cause filled him with the joy of a thousand dances.

Nica chuckled at his showmanship, smiling as she took him in. “They look good on you.”

She made a small circuit around him. Her fingers touched the laces on his hip briefly, then she nodded. “And even.”

A small sound of pleasure slipped from him at her touch. It was smooth and cool, like a polished stone. Cool—oh yes. He needed to stop playing around get her upstairs. His gaze raked the rows of hanging shirts, and he felt his mind slip to the half-panicked indecision of choosing bowls.

He took a gulp of breath, then blew it out slowly. “Don’t suppose you have the matching top?”

A blip of panic brushed her and she leaned in to slide her hand along his waist. “I should…”

She hummed slightly, then reached past him, pulling a red top from a shelf. “Here it is.”

He was surprised to find the shift in Nica’s collection—she obviously favored backless styles. For obvious reasons, he thought with a smile, as he remembered the vibrant feathers shifting behind her. But she was a lover of serpent traditions, and the outfit seemed plucked straight from his memories.

The fading of the dyes followed up the armless shift, moving from rusty red to a deep crimson at the shoulders. The lacing pattern also continued, running up his ribs. They had clearly been cinched down at the waist, left to flare at the hips, but it wouldn’t take much work to adjust them. It would simply be difficult to do it himself.

He took the garment from her, then held it back out. “Could you, uh…” He chewed at his lip before finally asking. “I need help adjusting the side cinches please.”

“Of course.” She waited until he put the garment on,then worked to straighten the lacing until it suited his frame. As she pulled it around him, her fingers working without thought, she couldn’t help but notice again how thin he was.

It tickled. He did his best not to squirm or laugh, but the delicate brushes of fingers and lacing over his ribs were nearly unbearable. Still, he’d asked for help, and he wasn’t about to make this more difficult. But oh, did it tickle.

When she’d finished and stepped back, he caught sight of himself in the mirror on the back of the door. He was a shadow of his old self, entirely too thin and pale, but… He was, at least, a shadow of his old self. The simple, richly dyed cotton wrapped around him like a hot wind, blown out of a desert long dead and forgotten, stepping out of the sands time had already let slip by.

It underscored how far he’d fallen, but seeing himself standing there, he couldn’t ignore the small steps he’d already taken. He smiled, startled at how odd it looked on his face, then smiled again. It looked good on him. He should smile more often.

He turned back to Nica, eyes soft and shining. “a’parn’o.”

Her hand was touching his shoulder before she thought about it, a smile at his happiness on her lips. His emotion wrapped around her like an embrace and the need to touch him was too strong.

“You’re welcome.”

This. This is what a nest was about. The marriage of their joy, building and exalting into something more, wrapping them in a sense of good will that did much to soothe his raw aura. Which reminded him of why they were dressing in the place, He offered up his arm, smile still suffusing his face,

“Shall we?”

She slipped her arm in his gratefully. While she was feeling better, she was still tired. Part of her wanted nothing more than to curl up under heavy blankets and sleep for another eight hours. She knew though, if Naj was recommending going upstairs for the ambient energy, it would do her more good.

“Let’s.” Nica squeezed his arm, glad to see him relaxing. It made something within her also begin to relax.

Previous: Chapter 12, part 2                       Next: Interlude, Dreams in the Desert, part 4

Chapter 12, part 2

In which Naj explains a thing or two

Nica pulled him closer, her lips pressing against his shoulder. Her eyes flicked up at the feel of someone on the other side of her door and she opened her wings enough to see a dark hand slipping around the tapestry.

It was Nat, the lanky woman balancing two bowls as she entered the room. “Hey.”

Her voice was soft, pleasant as she she glanced between the pair of them. Nica drew her wings further back, so she and Naj were framed rather than embraced by them.

“Hey, Nat.” Her gaze flicked to the bowls in her hand and Nat smiled. A twinge of something unpleasant came and went in her emotions, but Nica didn’t comment on it and Nat ignored it, as was polite.

“Kain said you guys were waking and asked me to bring you a couple bowls of stew. The show’s about to start though, so I need to get back upstairs. You need anything else?”

She handed off the bowls and tucked some bottles of water at their feet. When Nica shook her head, Nat smiled, a little more genuine this time and left.

“How long have we slept?” Naj asked, puzzling at Nat’s word. The passage of time should mean something to him, but “show time” was too nebulous an idea for him to ground in. But surely Nica would know. He looked to her, trying to smooth out the worried pinch to his eyebrows.

Nica rubbed a hand along his arm at his concern, then untangled enough to reach for one of the bowls of stew. Her stomach growled, reminding her that she hadn’t each much yesterday either.

“If the show’s about to start, it’s probably near five. So eight hours, little more.”

He made an mmm sound that didn’t say much, but his attention was now completely on the smell of food. The hollow feeling roared to life within him, demanding to be filled. It’s aroma was rich and layered, earthy and spicy and a little wild, and old. Modern food just didn’t smell the same anymore, not since they’d left Europe. It was as if something of the land it grew in was imparted to the finished dish, and this smelled like home.

Naj tucked in with a greedy pace, eating as if he hadn’t eaten in months. It’d been a while since he’d been this magic starved, body desperate to replace a spiritual lack by whatever physical means it could. It would help, much as the sleep and warm bath had, But he wouldn’t be set to rights until he went above and beyond that, and a sudden thought occurred to him.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, once he’d choked down the overly large bite he’d just taken. It seemed a shame not to linger over such food, crafted with care and old skill, but there was still so much to be done before they were out of the woods.

“On a deeper level, how are you feeling?”

“Tired,” Nica answered without thought. Weary was probably more accurate, but there was a heaviness to her muscles that told her they had been pushed past their preferred limits. Her core self held the empty feeling that only happened when she’d tried to do too much with too little fuel.

 

“And a bit stiff,” she added as she took a bite of stew. For a moment, her eyes closed, savoring the flavor. Kain must have had it on the stove all day. If the food made it to tomorrow, the spices would marry even further.

 

“How are you?”

He stiffened, the precursor to a serpent stillness, but he willed it away. He would need to stay open to her aura shifts as he broached this subject.

 

“I need to finish the meditation we started this morning, more now than ever. We are empty, but with a little direction we can fix that.” There was the slightest stress on the we as he changed his tactics mid-thought. “I’m beginning to question the wisdom in such exercises, but at the least, we should set to right what meddling I’ve already done.”

The question in his voice hung unspoken in the air, waiting for her response one way or the other. Nica was so damned good at sitting patiently and waiting for the entire story or lesson before absorbing it and thinking on it—an admirable trait in a student, but maddening when Naj hung on her every nuance for guidance as to how to proceed.

She raised an eyebrow, chewing slowly as she mulled that over. The meditation from this morning? He never had really answered her one its purpose… And now he blamed this morning on that meditation.

Nica nodded thoughtfully. “And how does the meditation help this?”

A slow breath to steady himself was all the hesitation he allowed. “The storm you danced was made real by the energy we fed it—you, unintentionally, mine deliberately—and it had left us lacking. I believe your ramn got the better of you because you are unaccustomed to carrying such extra power, and so didn’t know to hold it back from your weaving. We all instinctively clutch our lifeforce close, but once a vr’era has purchase in this world, it consumes what it can in its quest to become a part of reality-”

He stopped, wondering if he was losing her. He had lifetimes of study behind him, and she was just barely coming into her own, magically speaking. He had no idea how much training or years she had under her belt, but it wasn’t enough.

“The important part is that such imbalances are dangerous, and I should not have been so careless. It has been many years since I’ve danced with anyone of skill, and I have forgotten how grave a responsibility it can be.”

His thoughts flicked along faces and people half-remembered–to the d’Ahnkkhna, to his mother, the nests in the Dai—all forces to shape the world, for good or for ill. But to what purpose?

Nica hummed idly as she thought that over and ate. Energy. It all came back to energy. Ariella had mentioned it in places, but she’d always dismissed how much energy Nica could bring to it… Perhaps those had been more than idle cut downs. Their meditation raised energy… It explained why she’d felt so energized going into the dance, though she had put it down to nerves and agitation at the time.

“It was a mistake for both of us, I think,” she answered slowly, not liking how much responsibility he was taking for their combined actions. She was the leader and as such, she should have been more aware of what had been happening on his end. A good nest leader guides and directs rather than orders. Ariella ran her nest like it was something militarized most of the time. While it felt good to be out from under her thumb, Nica was still acting as if she were merely another member of the nest and not a leader of her own. Still, it would do neither of them any good to take all the blame herself. Everyone learned by mistakes and taking someone’s from them to spare their feelings only hurt them in the longer dance.

“I should not have danced alone. I knew what I was calling, but it was foolish to do it alone for the first time before being sure of my control.” She gave him a small, wry smile. “And I should have asked for a better understanding of what we were doing this morning. It’s taking me more than the usual day or two to get back into the habits of my own nest it seems.”

She still didn’t understand.

Her words said she did, but the lack of fear told him he hadn’t expressed how deadly this could be. There was a reason the Dai worked in nests—it kept complex spells from falling when any one member was consumed by it. She was treating this like a dance—wait, what did she mean by back into her habits?

“You’ve been gone?” he asked abruptly.

Nicas eyes tightened at the edges. Again, he somehow managed to remind her that he was a stranger to her nest, to her. It was odd, nothing she could put her finger on. The question was a fair one, she’d brought the subject up in a round about way. Perhaps it was his tone or something about his aura, but it was beginning to bother her. She needed to speak to Kain, sooner rather than later. The big cat always had a better sense of a situation than she did and she was beginning to suspect there was something more at play here.

“I’ve been at Ariella’s nest for the last two years.” Her instinct said to be vague, but how long and where she’d been weren’t secrets to her nest. Besides, she didn’t like feeling as if she needed to keep secrets from one of her dancers like this.

Ah. Away to gather new skills to bring back to her nest, no doubt. Perhaps this wasn’t as unsalvageable a mess as it seemed. If she’d been willing to endure the rigors of falcon training… Still, he wanted to make sure she understood exactly what they were dabbling in. He set his stew bowl to the side, giving her his full attention.

“You do understand that vr’era are not simple illusions? Aret’vir’ramn and ramn’tr’vr’era are as alike a feathers and scales.”

Nica could feel her brow furrowing and she tried to smooth her expression as she reached for a bottle of water. Aret’vir’ramn? The words were unfamiliar to her and she wasn’t sure what Naj was referring to. He was clearly following a train of thought though.

Not simple illusions… She didn’t understand. It made her uneasy and a little annoyed, but she tried to let the emotions go rather than dwelling on them. They wouldn’t help her figure this out.

“I’m not sure what aret’vir’ramn references, so I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean.”

Naj stared, confused at her confusion. He hadn’t realized she didn’t speak pri’mn as a native tongue– she certainly seemed fluent enough.

“Forgive my mistake. I didn’t realize. The aret’ramn are magic dances? And virar, to see?”

She was agitated, and he most certainly didn’t want to patronize her, but if she didn’t understand…

She took a long breath and picked her stew back up. At least they were both confused now. “I understand what the pieces mean, simply not what the string is referring to… It isn’t a term I’ve heard used.”

Damn. He had tried so hard not to offend. “ei’meht’a, eija. Forgive me. I’m not sure how else to explain. I had assumed you were familiar with the branch of dances pertaining to spellwork and the calling of power– I was taught they are called the aret’ramn. Is that no longer so?”

Her eyebrows rose as she thought that over. “Yes… And no.”

She frowned, putting down the bite of stew she’d been about to eat. “Many of the dances that might have involved magic are simply referred to by their elemental name now. The word for magic itself is rarely if ever used, so as not to draw too much attention to it when speaking.”

“Oh.”

It made a good deal of sense, and it simply underscored to him just how much time had passed. Possessing a magic was almost required to claim most birthrights, but then, most of those kingdoms were gone now anyways. Melancholy settled over him, bowing his shoulders. He was… homesick. He hadn’t been homesick in very, very long time.

Nica didn’t understand him at all. How had he missed the persecution of the magic users? If he remembered a time when magic was freely spoken of…

But she did understand being sad and she couldn’t help but reach out a hand to squeeze his shoulder.

He leaned into her touch, then straightened his shoulders when he realized what he’d done.

“I am alright. My mind is still prone to wandering, it seems. Forgive me.”

She nodded, drawing back to her bowl. “It’s perfectly understandable, you don’t need to apologize.”

“It is not so bad, when I don’t feel so empty–” His words cut off in a fervently whispered swear. “I am a fool. A fool that cannot hold a thought for more than a moment. I was trying to assess what I can safely teach you.”

“I think you were explaining what you were referencing with the two different terms. From what little I understood, an illusion dance is merely a type of magic dance.”

She’d admit, his inability to hold onto what he had been thinking did make her feel better. At least more equal in the conversation. Though Nica was curious what he meant by safely teach her. All he’d taught her so far was that meditation.

He nodded, settling into a cross-legged position. It helped him think. “That is correct. Areta can be translated to mean “calling forth” or “summon” as much as “magic”. It simply references organizing what is already there. In a way, our meditation this morning was an aret. We took the power raised by dancing and channeled it into specific forms.”

“vr’era, shadows, belong to the realm outside of existence. Era is the il’li pair to Are. So to dance with your eye to the void, ramn’tr’vr’era, is to pull from the nothing.

Nica nodded, still not seeing where the misunderstanding was stemming from. “An illusion dance.”

“zt– No, that is not it. Where did creation first come from? Are came from Era, and so do vr’era. And s’era, and chim’era, and so on. Everything that Is comes from Nothing, and with the extra power I helped you harness, you were able to cross the barrier from ideas into being.”

Eyebrows high, she finally set aside her bowl. Her fingers almost reached for her water, rising to rub her temple instead. “Are you trying to say that I literally danced the illusions into existing? That isn’t possible.”

“Yes! That is it exactly.”

A triumphant smile ghosted across his face, eaten almost immediately by a frown at her negation. “You stood with me beneath a rainstorm of your own making, and you tell me it did not happen?”

“I-” She frowned rubbing her head harder. It did nothing to help the headache forming. “I don’t remember a rainstorm. I remember it being my intent, but a real rainstorm would have soaked the stage…”

She closed her eyes, but the harder she reached for the distinction, the more vague the thought became and the more her head throbbed.

This was a mistake. They were fighting, both growing more unhappy by the moment, and getting no where.

“I have told you what happened. I cannot tell you otherwise. If you would find your eijye’s word more trustworthy than mine, by all means, let us go ask him.”

Without her eyes, his hurt was all the more obvious. She sighed, fingers running through her hair as she looked up.

“I don’t – I don’t know what happened.” Her voice softened. “But that sort of power – I’ve never heard of someone able to do that. It’s a legend and if anyone could do it, the ability was lost centuries ago. I just don’t believe I’m capable of it.”

She was quiet at the end, looking away. Her frustration had spoken more than she’d meant to and while she didn’t regret it exactly, she needed to stop speaking before more was said.

He let a ripple of red scales cover his torso, both as a visual aide and for the comfort, “I assure you, that power is very real, and I watched you call it, and kept you from falling to it.” he whispered.

Nica watched him with a sideways glance. Abruptly, her muscles let go of the tension they’d been accruing and she reached for the water. This was absurd.

She was sounding like Ariella, declaring absolutes. He was right, red cobras were also supposed to be little more than legend. And if he understood what had happened… Then he could help her be more careful.

“Thank you for that.” Nica offered him a small smile. “I owe you.”

He stiffened at that, pulling back with wide eyes. “You owe me nothing. You are my eija.”

“I’d also like to be your friend.” Her smile widened, amused slightly by his reaction. That was a term she’d scarce heard, so few used it anymore. “You can relax, Naj, at least a bit – no one’s keeping score.”

She stretched one wing, working a taunt muscle looser. “I just realized I hadn’t thanked you.”

“Oh.”

He was saying that so often lately. But this nest he found himself in, so familiar but so vastly different… He couldn’t keep up.

But he understood friendship, and he understood gratitude, so he’d start from there.

“Are’era. All is as it should be.”

He gave her a warm smile and let his scales melt back into his skin.

“As your friend, then, may I teach you how to fill what has been taken?”

“That… Would be welcome.” Nica stretched her wings high, feeling the exhaustion creeping in at the edges. Despite the long sleep, she was still worn out. At least the headache was fading.

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